Friday, July 27, 2012

5 Types of Girls Every Guy Meets at a Nightclub

This one is for the guys out there that run into the same types of women every time they go out clubbing.  It doesn’t matter what kind of music is playing or who the crowd is.  If you go out, you will undoubtedly run into these females and their routines.

e   1. The Needy Girl

This girl is the easiest to spot because she will be wearing an insane outfit that either barely covers her assets or has some kind of accessory that stands out like a diamond tiara.  You can also hear her loud mouth through the deafening music that is being blasted into your ears and brain.  She just has to let everyone know she is laughing and how much better of a time she is having than you.   She also loves to interrupt your stories with her one uppers of things that are not even remotely possible.  How big was the fish you caught last weekend? It doesn't matter because her make believe special forces boyfriend caught Bigfoot.  And don’t even try to out drink her because she will always be more wasted than you and drink more than you.  One of her patented moves is to cock block her friends, especially if she isn’t the one getting the attention.  The funny thing is she won't necessarily be hot either.  In fact she could be the ugliest girl in the club, but you couldn't tell by the way she acts. 

Best Advice: She has major daddy issues, so make sure if you do end up hooking up with her you give her a fake number because she is super needy and will turn psycho the minute you ignore her.  That is unless you like fake pregnancy stories with your breakfast... 

     2. The Lush

The Lush is similar to The Drunk from a previous blog except that she never has to buy her own drinks. You will usually find her at the bar preying on unsuspecting men that will buy any girl a drink that makes eye contact with them.  She has two patented moves, flashing the bartender and making out with other chicks.  She does these for attention and it's a great way to get the attention of the next guy who will want to buy her a drink.  She has the ability to go from hot to cold the minute the drink is done, so if you want to keep her happy just keep the drinks coming.  She’s a good time no doubt, but once she gets sloppy, which is inevitable, look out. 

 Not sure if I should be turned on, or if I should run for my life...

Best Advice: All in all it’s just best to stay away from this one.  The sex will be bad, that is if she doesn’t pass out first, and there is a high probability that she will end up getting puke on something you own.  The good part is if you do bang her she won't remember it anyways so there is no way of her becoming a stage five clinger. 

           3. The Bottle Rat

The Bottle Rat is similar to the The Lush except that she is usually better looking and has higher standards.  She will also not always get blasted drunk, but occasionally you will see one passed out somewhere in the club.  You can usually find her hanging out around the VIP section trying to find rich guys to mooch off of.  She prefers drinking from bottles because the drinks can be made stronger than the ones you will buy her at the bar.  The quality of alcohol will be better too, but there's no way she can actually tell the difference since she drowns them in fruit juice anyways.  Her patented move is flirting with the gate keeper.  She does this in order to gain access to the VIP section, so be sure to inform the security if you need some extra honeys.  Expect her to go from one table to the next drinking as much as she can and acting like she is better than the other women in the club.  She is most likely the type of girl to be looking for a sugar daddy or professional athlete to date and will not talk to you unless your watch is a Rolex or Breitling. 

Oops! Your bottle is empty! We'll go talk to those guys over there now...
Best Advice:  These girls are fun and and often travel in packs so make sure to have some wing-men.  These girls are great for show, but don’t believe that they are models or actresses.  It’s all just a front to get you to want them.  In the case that you do want to bring one home just ask the bouncer if they are any good in bed, because more times than not they have already slept with them.

     4. The Thinks She’s the Hottest Girl in the Club

This girl is a classic, and a girl that everyone should know.   She has the most attitude out of anyone in the club and will act like she’s a queen.  You can usually find her on the dance floor surrounded by her ugly friends or in the VIP section trying to look sexy surrounded by the same ugly friends.  Inside she is truly alone because she turns down every guy that tries to talk to her.  She loves assholes and wants a guy that will treat her like shit.  You can see her rolling her eyes and bad mouthing other women when they walk by.  Her patented move is the hand to the face.  She will pull this out on any guy that glances her way.

No thanks, I'm already in love with myself.

Best Advice:  Ignore her.  Walk up to her and start spitting game to her ugly friend.  She will undoubtedly get visibly upset and when she is the most insecure is the best time to strike.  You have to sell yourself here by lying, so make sure you have a great backup story of how important you are.  Movie director, sky dive instructor, MMA fighter will all work, but buy all means do not tell her how good she looks.  Stay away from most complements in general.  However, be warned because she will be a dead fish in bed.  She's better off being placed in the spank bank to use later to replace the mental image of the pig you really take home. 

     5. The Dancing Queen

This girl is a waste of time for most guys.  She came to the club to do one thing, and that’s dance.  She will leave the dance floor for one thing and that’s to only go to the bathroom.  Her patented move is the fake make out.  This is where she gets in really close right before the song ends and then pulls away when the song changes.  The good news is by the end of the night this becomes the real make out, but by then she is drenched in sweat and smells like the backrest of the bench press at your local gym.  Another annoyance she will do is gather her friends to dance in a circle.  Everyone knows this move, it's the worst.  It always reminds me of a circle of fish trying to avoid the predators by believing there is safety in numbers.  

Raise your hands if your pits stink!

Best Advice: If you have the right moves this girl will dance with you all night long.  More than likely you can make out with her but taking her home might end up being a mistake.  Between her being too tired and sore for good sex she's really smelly from the amount of sweat she exuded that is clinging to her clothes and hair.  Your best bet is to find her friends.  You know, the ones she ignored all night to dance.  

Now I'm sure there are other women out there that might fit into multiple categories on this blog, but the fact is they all exist and I'm sure you have run into them before.  If you have any ideas of other women or men for that matter that fit a certain mold let me know and I might add them to my next blog.  Until then, happy hunting and don't forget to tip your bartenders and servers!

Checkout our Website
Like us on Facebook
Follow us on Twitter

No comments:

Post a Comment